LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOONE!

Britney Spears is issuing some more restraining orders (girls got it rough). The orders are against Osama Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib, former friend and boyfriend respectively.

Apparently the restraining order states:

"The documents state Lutfi, Ghalib and lawyer Jon Eardley have been trying to gain control of Spears' affairs. "

If by "gain control" they mean "have sex with" and "affairs" they mean "female affairs", then I totally understand where these guys are coming(!) from.

The real article is way to long for me to read or care about. So read the full thing here if you want.

And no, I am not posting a video of that kid screaming for Britney. I shall, however post something infinity worse(or better?) in it's stead.

WARNING!! THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CONTAINS A SHOWER, A GUY, A DANCE, A BRITNEY SPEARS SINGLE, GRINDING AGAINST SAID SHOWER, REMOVAL OF CLOTHES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Thanks to Dre for showing this to me, or should I not be thanking him and instead punching him in the face?

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Take Another Little Piece Inaugural Edition: Kelly Clarkson -- Breaking Records, Hearts

Introducing another segment where I rant about a new love in my life, specifically the unattainable and famous women that I would bed should they choose to get naked and cook for me.
Hey, I got principles. I don't date no scrubs. This week: "Smelly" Kelly Clarkson (we gave each other pet names). Mine's "You're Done Already?". She likes to call me that in bed.




Cute-as-a-button pop singer Kelly Clarkson will make headlines today when her single "My Life Would Suck Without You" jumps from no. 92 on the Billboard Top 100 to no. 1.

With KellyBear dethroning the queen of Pop herself, I can only imagine Britney Spears was more than upset at the news. How upset, you ask? Considering Britney had the most recent record with a jump from 96 to no. 1 last year, I imagine it's not as bad as when they made her quit eating ice cream with a ladle, but worse than when they took away her children and gave them to a walking sack of FAIL.

Britney Spears, upon hearing the news that Kelly Clarkson had broken her record:

"It's aight, y'all. I don't own no records, just some cd's and one mixtape that Justin made for me. It's got Leann Rimes on it! How do I live! Hold on, I'll get it. HOW DO I LIVE??!! Damn it, can I get an auto-tuner in here or some bacon wraps or something?"

Sorry Britney, I guess the world is going to need something more from you than not-as-clever-as-you-first-think song titles. Looks like they need actual talent, nay I say -- an idol?

And considering KellyBear took the title of her single from something I screamed outside her window when I was drunk one night, I'd say she hit the nail on the head. You're welcome babe. It's okay that you've got the hands of a midget, I'll look past that. It only makes it look bigger.

Kelly Clarkson Upsets Britney's Record

I can't actually embed the video here, so here's a grown adult man with his sweater collar popped singing it on the edge of a bed or something.



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Britney Spears' Song getting Protested

Recent born-again hottie, Britney Spears has a song hitting the airwaves off her new CD called Circus that has some parent's panties all up in a bunch. The song "If U Seek Amy", they claim sounds like "F-U-C-K Amy" when you say it...and it does! Sweet!


I haven't actually listened to the song because I have at least a shred of self-respect, but the story is interesting.

The parent's big gripe is that they play the song during times when children are listening, and think it is corrupting their minds. Now, I don't know if they check out any of the other music their kids are listening to(no, because parents nowadays don't do their jobs) other than just the titles, but if they are concerned about what their kids are taking in off the radio waves, there would be no pop music of the day.

Full Story via Yahoo!

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