Michael Jackson, Prince, the Beatles, and Modest Mouse

So I have been on a bit of hiatus with school and all (and the lack of anything interesting in the music news). But here you go, a four-dose of music shit!

Michael Jackson


The King of Pop supposedly has a couple hundred songs just sitting around unreleased. That is, until his DEATH! And only his children are going to get to hear them after he moves on to the next thriller.
He also plans to reverse his very "dick" move of buying the rights to the Beatles music from Sir McCartney by giving them back to him after he dies also. "Why wait until you die?" you may ask, well considering it's Michael Jackson, I don't think we can really ask him to explain much.
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The Beatles


So, when you think of getting a degree you usually think of something boring that requires much too much work that you probably won't enjoy, correct? Well YOU'RE WRONG! A Liverpool University is offering a degree in The Beatles! Some can argue that this is a useless degree, but then you can call them a damn dirty communist! It's a Yellow Submarine, not a red one!
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Prince

The Purple One is releasing a new box set on March 29th, which will be available on the internet exclusively at Target. Know I know how stupid 1337 is, but I can make some exceptions for Prince when he title's 2 of the 3 albums in the set LOtUSFLOW3R and MPLSoUND, the latter rather just stupid than 1337. But the third one is called Elixir, and cures the naming issues of the first two (Because an elixir does similarly!!1).
I'm just waiting to see how they do a Target commercial for this. Clash of the Red and Purple! They would have had a smoother take with a White Stripes box set.
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Modest Mouse
So the Modest Mouse show here in Austin was last night. It was pretty damn sweet apart from a $4 beer(bet I could drink just one!). I took some pictures, but I doubt they were any good so I may post them later when I figure out how to extract them from this camera. I tried to get back stage and get an interview going, but for some reason they didn't know who or what the hell "Denoiser" was!? Assholes.

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John Landis Suing Michael Jackson over Thriller Profits -- Jackson not Thrilled in the Least, Vincent Price still Dead

Really? John Landis is suing Michael Jackson? Doesn't he realize the guy ran out of money from the hundred other people that decided to sue him? If he thinks he's due some kind of reward for any inappropriate touching from the King of Pop, he's sorely mistaken. He should have jumped on the bandwagon years ago like the rest of us.
Oh, what's that you say? This is a completely different matter? You're telling me it's a totally logical and legitimate reason for a lawsuit?



So the director of An American Werewolf in London made a video where he turned Michael Jackson into another werewolf and is now suing aforementioned "wolfman" over unpaid royalties from the Thriller video they made over 25 years ago. Apparently, Jackson hasn't paid him in over for four years. Hmm, I wonder what Michael Jackson was doing 4 years ago? Oh, that's right. He was getting sued.

Given that the King of Pop is busy making a Broadway musical about his music, owns the Beatles, and has the Elephant Man's bones locked in a trunk in Neverland, it seems to me that this foul stench could land both him and Landis in a 40,000 year funk.
Take a minute to ponder why that's the most ridiculous sentence I've ever written, because I've written quite a few of them.

Why yes, that's correct -- it IS almost as ridiculous as a long winded sentence/passage from Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse!

No? Too high-brow for you? You say that this is a music blog, not a boring ENGLISH blog? Alright. You win. I LOVE SUCKING FARTS OUT OF ASSES WITH A CRAZY STRAW. CRAZY enough for you? Fucking heathens.

Below I've posted an absolutely hypnosis-inducing video on the syntax of a Virgina Woolf sentence. There are two ways to go about it: a.) skip to about 40 seconds to see what I'm talking about. or b.) see how long you last before you decide to open a few veins and just let yourself bleed out in front of your computer. I went with A. Personal decision. I already read the goddamned thing.



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