Jon Anderson of the band Yes has the asthma. This is not something that singers should have. Either way, the affirmative band is canceling their tour and play dates through the 24th.

The band posted on their site that they are canceling for "unforeseen medical reasons", but it's probably just the asthma attack since it's only until the end of this month. They canceled their original tour last summer for the reason of Anderson having a pretty bad attack.

That asthma will fuck you up from what I've heard, so completely understandable.



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My Bad! Chris Brown Apologizes, All is Forgiven

Chris "Tommy Lee' Brown issued a public apology today for his behavior regarding recent events surrounding him beating the shit out of his girlfriend. In it, he reminds us that 'to err' is human. Well, I guess he's right -- it's about as human as tears and bruises and handcuffs.

Brown issued this formal apology, as opposed to the informal kind, that involved roses and a large "Sorry I Hospitalized You" Card:

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writing under my name are frauds."

It perplexes me how over the past week or so there seems to have formed a dividing line, one that separates the Rihanna camp and the Brown one, with some saying that Chris "is a good guy", and that "they'll work it out," completely disregarding the police reports and the hospital visit. A Criminal Threat isn't just a love smite. It's defined as:

"Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death or great bodily injury to another person, with the specific intent that the statement, made verbally, in writing, or by means of an electronic communication device, is to be taken as a threat."

That's the equivalent of saying, "I'm going to fucking kill you."

The fact of the matter is that whether or not Rihanna is a crazy bitch who went apeshit on him, Brown feeding her a knuckle sandwich for dinner isn't going ever to fix the problem. All it's going to do is ruin your career and turn you into fucking Vader in the eyes of America.

And while he spent the bulk of the letter downplaying his actions, never once does he admit that he is seeking any kind of professional help for his problems. God and loved ones can only do so much. And from what I've heard, he puts the blame on loved ones as the reason he behaves like this in the first place.

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30 Seconds To Mars Heading In a "New" Creative Direction

Hopefully it is one with a lot less finger gloves, eye liner, and bitch ass sound.

In a recent interview with Billboard, the band is working on a new album that lead actor Jared Leto wants to be a new creative step for the band who thus far sounds like every other band with the same look.

Interview Here
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Nude Photo of Madonna Sells for 37,500 Dollars, Somehow this is News (NSFW!!!)

Look, we're sucking you in with a 5 year old picture! And now we're keeping you here! Woohoo! Our first NSFW post! And by Not Safe for Work, we mean home, office, playground, motor vehicle, or any other place that puts you in a position to commit either suicide or homicide. Or both. So don't click the hyper unless you want the bodies to start piling up. The sweaty, naked bodies.

I TOLD YOU. A nude photo of pop singer Madonna was sold at Christie's Auction House for 37,500 dollars this past week. The singer, who is known to make shitty movies and bang married, disgraced latino baseball stars, took the picture in 1979. The winning bidder, on the other hand, is obviously blind, or using this picture to test the threshold of human will needed to keep from tearing one's eyes out. Or maybe he thought it was a picture of the Virgin Mary naked. I don't know how these things work, I'm NOT CATHOLIC. But I know some of you sick bastards are.

Either way, didn't this guy realize that a naked picture of Madonna is about as common as a stripper with a c-section? Seriously, I just posted the picture below and literally saved myself and all of you 37,500 dollars. But I suppose you did pay for it with mental scars. Sorry, I'm gonna have to go Chinese Dollar Store on you and say "No Refunds" on mental scarring.
Just in case you were wondering, here's a video for an effective cure to unseeing things.


While we're on the subject, I'd like to let all of you know that I also sell naked photos of myself, . Well, it's more like I take a bunch of pictures of my wang and toss them at women from the bed of a pickup truck, but they still have a lot of uses. You can put one in a field to scare the birds away, or put it on your lawn to scare squirrels away, or threaten your boyfriend to use it instead of him, or measure VERY large things with it. I print them 1:1 scale, so I have to use a posterboard. Or three.

UPDATE: These things are selling like hotcakes. Someone get the ShamWow guy on the phone! Stat!

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Eminem Beats Rihanna

in having his song downloaded more than her and T.I.'s "Live Your Life"!

His song which features the likes of Dre and Fitty. Their song "Crack a Bottle" sold 418,000 downloads, and hit up numero uno on Billboards Hot 100.

The song is kinda slow and boring to me. Dre sounds cool as always, but I think its really just Eminem's singing that bothers me, particularly the chorus. Plus the song is called "Crack a Bottle", god dammit. Enough of these clubs songs, we get it. But I don't know, I definitely am not a hip-hop expert, so hit the jump for the song.


Full Story Here

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White Stripes And Conan

The White Stripes will be playing on Conan's farewell episode on February 20th as he moves to take over the chinny Jay Leno's spot. Conan has the best late night show, so now just another reason to catch that last episode that we already knew will be great.

This will be the duo's first live performance since '07 and it's about damn time. I was supposed to see them at ACL that year, but Meg had some mental issues or something. And yet, Jack didn't play! I'm still annoyed by this, anyways hit the jump for some previous tits performances the Stripes did on Conan.



Full Story Ova Here

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Joaquin Phoenix, A Rapper Off His Fucking Rocker

Joaquin Phoenix joined the ranks of Joan Crawford and Marlon Brando in the Hall of Batshit Crazy Actors when he showed up on Letterman in a state that can only be described as a level above completely catatonic. The only difference is, Crawford and Brando went nuts at the end of their careers, not smack-dab in the fucking middle of them. Video of the interview after the hyper, loosely translated as JESUS CHRIST YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW.

The notable Roman sister-fucker and Cash impersonator quit his acting career late last year to pursue one in hip-hop. While some would say this idea was eccentric, it doesn't help that he's filming it all while taking himself entirely too seriously. Rap, in itself, is not a particularly serious medium of music -- and hobo beards and sunglasses don't lend themselves to the genre, either. Because I know the world only exists in black and white, I've whittled it down to only two conclusions, as I so often do.

1.) He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's going to have the last laugh when he finally reveals that he never expected anyone to take his grifter ass seriously. He's making a documentary about it, and he's a method actor, so why would he break character when he's going Mickey Rourke on the world? Would Borat break character just because somebody threatened to call the cops on him? No. He'd just thumbs up and try to fellate the female officer while she handcuffed him. Andy Kaufman did it, so I see no reason Phoenix wouldn't try.

2.) He's fucking nuts. I'm thinking maybe the death of his brother is barely hitting him, and this is his way of lashing out.

There are two sides to this coin, but the first side is definitely a lot heavier (that means I think he's a fucking loon.)



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