So I decided that, like a healthy dose of Dulcolax, we all need a little regularity every once in a while. Because of this, I introduce my new article, the Weekly Who-Gives-A-Shit Award. In our inaugural edition, who better to ring in a failing economy than the ultimate example of failure himself, Mr. Kevin Federline nee' Spears.
Apparently, enough people care that he isn't going to be in Dancing with the Stars to start a rumor that he was going to be dancing in the first place. And my problem with K-Fed isn't the fact that his music is so terrible it makes me want to watch a Marky Mark/Funky Bunch/Vanilla Ice Reunion Tour just to cleanse my palate, it's that his decline has been so strung out and pathetic that even hating him has become completely irrelevant. I can only compare K-Fed to being like a large mining vessel in orbital decay that's found its way back from the far reaches of Hell, and anyone who still talks about this set of clown shoes in ANY light is like that ragtag group of astronauts on a suicide mission to bring it back.
Oh, so you say that Event Horizon analogy didn't make any sense? NEITHER DOES BRINGING UP KEVIN FEDERLINE. EVER. If you can name one reason this guy is still around, then I'd love to hear it. I mean, he's not even entertaining us by using his children as sympathy leverage in a dragging divorce battle.
Congratulations, Mr. Federline. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE.
The fact alone that I Googled this image and clicked the first thing I saw means that I gave K-Fed about 10 seconds of more fame than he deserves. Piece of shit.
AND NOW, TO CLEANSE YOUR PALATE:
K-Fed Not Joining Dancing with the Stars
This could be a good idea, weekly stuff :)
ReplyDeleteThere was a rumor Kevin Federline was going to be on Dancing? Gross. I thought it was bad enough when Kardashian was on.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated the Event Horizon reference. =)